


Bright Shadows of the Past

by shopfront



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bittersweet, Canonical Character Death, Extra Treat, F/F, Massage, Orb Shadow, Post-Canon, Time Travel, Time Travel - Orb Experience, Trick or Treat: Chocolate Box, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/pseuds/shopfront
Summary: Kira finds peace and happiness with a little help from the Prophets.





	Bright Shadows of the Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BigStripeyLie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigStripeyLie/gifts).



Kira hesitated mid-stride at the threshold of Quark’s bar. 

“I’m worried about her,” she heard Quark say ruefully behind her. His voice was lowered as he spoke to Morn but not quite so lowered that she couldn’t overhear him. She wasn’t sure if that was intentional or not, it was hard to tell with Quark. “She’s been working too hard since Odo left.”

She couldn’t hear Morn’s reply, if there even was one, so she shook her head and finished her step over onto the Promenade.

It had just been busy, that was all. Most of their friends had left and there was a lot to do since she’d stepped into Sisko’s shoes. Though perhaps Quark had a point…. She considered turning back and booking a holosuite, of all things, but after a few moments the urge passed her by.

There was a new Vedek due to visit for a station and wormhole tour any day now and she hadn’t even arranged their guide yet. Also Cassidy and Jake apparently needed to see her urgently. Something about being accosted on the Promenade all the time by Bajorans. Not to mention all the usual coming and goings of the station to oversee.

Pursing her lips, Kira boarded the nearest turbolift to Ops while deep in thought.

No, there was too much to do to waste time in the holosuites. Perhaps she could at least stop by to see Vic though after the Vedek had left the station. Yes, that would do nicely.

Kira nodded at a few junior ensigns as she strode through ops. Then, just as she passed through the doors into her office, a sharp pain lanced through her temple. Crying out, she dropped her mug of raktajino and pressed her hands to her head. But as quickly as the pain had come, it passed.

Blinking, she straightened up and looked around. Then she looked down and frowned. There was a distinct lack of raktajino on her shoes. Kira turned and surveyed Ops and then blinked; there were different people at the stations. One of them was watching her curiously, and as her eyes flicked down to take in their uniform she realised what was bothering her - there were more Starfleet officers in the room than Bajorans.

Kira’s frown deepened as she surveyed the room a second time.

Yes. There were indeed fewer Bajorans than there had been since the end of the war. Confused and a little disoriented, Kira pressed a hand to her head once more and was about to tap her comms badge and call down to the infirmary when a cheery voice popped up behind her.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. We’re late for our holosuite appointment and- Are you alright? You look a little pale.”

Kira stared, and then wordlessly let herself be guided to the nearest chair. Forget looking pale, she _felt_ pale. 

Still stunned into silence, she watched as her would be rescuer frowned and pressed a hand to Kira’s forehead. Then they frowned some more and commed the infirmary for her.

“Julian, could you report to Ops? Major Kira doesn’t seem to be feeling well.”

Major. _Major._

Kira wanted to shriek or maybe just cry, but instead she simply stared as Jadzia Dax leaned in close and took her by the hand. “You just need to relax, Kira,” she said, looking ernest and concerned. “Julian will be here soon to look you over.”

There had been a lot of challenges Kira had faced in her life. Plenty of moments when she’d been tempted to check out, to no longer be there, just somehow mentally jump to another place and time when things were calm and peaceful once more and the crisis was over.

She never had. She never could. She’d never wanted to, not really, not deep down.

But somehow as she noticed the edges of her sight start to dim, this time it didn’t feel too bad.

*

Waking with a start felt much worse, though.

“Relax, Colonel,” a familiar voice said from behind her, while oxygen thudded painfully backed into her lungs as she gasped. Then Julian was in front of her with a tricorder, making it beep and whirl at her until she got her breathing back under control and regained the ability to swat at him for it. “One of the junior officers had you beamed down. You’re going to be just fine. All I’ve been able to identify is a surge in your neuropeptide levels.”

“My neuro-what?” Kira asked, brow furrowed.

Julian nodded. “Neuropeptides. I believe you may have experienced an orb shadow. Your readings are remarkably similar to some which I have on file from Captain Sisko. How do you feel? I can give you an inhibitor to prevent re-occurrences if you would like. It proved quite effective for the Captain,” Julian said, though he made no move to retrieve the medication.

Kira looked away for a moment, lost in thought. An orb shadow? She shook her head to decline the offer, and Julian didn’t look at all surprised. “I’m fine, Julian, and I don’t want an inhibitor,” she finally said brusquely, shoving herself to her feet.

“Woah there, not so fast. Orb shadow or not, these readings still don’t explain why you fainted. So I can’t let you go just yet.”

“I-,” Kira started to say, and then stopped. She didn’t particularly want to share the details if it had been a message from the Prophets, but Julian could be persistent. “I saw someone I wasn’t expecting.”

Julian raised his eyebrows. “Gone on,” he said slowly when Kira failed to elaborate.

“Someone I lost a long time ago.”

Julian’s eyes widened slightly before his face smoothed back into his usual non-judgemental bedside expression. “I see,” was all he said.

Kira hated that expression.

“Right, well, if there’s nothing else,” she said, starting for the door again. Julian held out an arm in front of her briefly for just long enough to halt her progress once more.

“If you need to talk-,” he started to offer.

“Then I know where to find the station counsellor,” Kira said flatly.

“Right,” Julian said, slightly distracted as he took one last scan. “Well, everything else checks out still. But maybe try to stay away from hard surfaces and sharp objects for a little while, just to be safe.”

Kira rolled her eyes and agreed, and then hurried for the door before Julian could stop her again. She needed some space to process the idea, not more time being harried by doctors. Moments later she found herself looking up at the entrance to the station shrine, and she sighed with relief as she entered.

Perhaps the shrine’s Ranjen might have some better answers for her than ‘neuropeptides.’

*

Many days later Julian had cheerfully pronounced her neuropeptide levels to be back to normal, and Kira felt no more certain about the Prophet’s message. Neither the visiting Vedek nor the Ranjen had proven much help, nor extra visits to the shrine for services and meditation.

She had just about given up and put the incident aside in her mind for now, when she rounded the corner of an empty corridor and came face to face with Jadzia.

“You-,” she started to say, gaping, then turned and looked behind her. The corridor was empty, but then it had also been empty when she’d entered it so that wasn’t a change. “I... Jadzia!”

“Kira!” Jadzia exclaimed in return, smiling and biting her lower lip as she tried to smother a giggle. 

“What are you…,” Kira started to ask, and then shook herself. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your message.”

Jadzia tilted her head to the side and a furrow appeared between her eyebrows. “My message? I didn’t think I’d sent you any communiques recently.”

Kira tried and failed to stop her mouth from dropping open. “I… I welcome your guidance,” she said hesitantly.

Now Jadzia was beginning to look concerned. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked, stepping forward and bracing Kira from the side like she thought Kira might collapse then and there. “I know Julian cleared you to return to duty, but you really shouldn’t push yourself so hard this quickly.”

Kira started to stammer a response, but Jadzia smiled and cut her off while beginning to guide her down the corridor. “This shift is nearly over, so how about I comm Benjamin and let him know we’re both clocking off early and heading to Quarks. I bet you could use a drink, or maybe a nice massage? Quark still owes me a favour after our last Dabo game, I’m sure he can squeeze us into a holosuite somewhere.”

“I don’t,” Kira said. “You. I-“

“Don’t worry about a thing,” Jadzia said, squeezing Kira’s elbow. “Just leave it all to me.”

*

“You don’t seem like a vision,” Kira observed sometime later as she fidgeted uncomfortably on a bench surrounded by steam.

Jadzia looked at her in surprise. “Well I’m certainly more real than the holograms, if that’s what you mean.”

“It’s not. It’s just… oh, never mind.”

“It still really bothers you that they aren’t real, doesn’t it?” Jadzia asked quietly. She was still smiling but kindly instead of with amusement like she usually did when they ran a holosuite program together. 

Kira shrugged. “It’s not the only thing bothering me,” she muttered under her breath, and then raised her voice some more. “Yes, it does.”

“Well, then,” Jadzia said, rising to her feet and dusting off her hands with purpose. She asked a passing hologram to prepare a massage area for them, and then tugged Kira to her feet as well despite her protests. “You are not leaving this holosuite until you’ve relaxed, and I don’t care what I have to do to achieve it.”

Kira spluttered. “I don’t want their hands all over me.”

“Because their hands aren't real?” Jadzia asked, looking distinctly unimpressed. When Kira nodded, she just huffed and then dragged her after the departing holo attendant that had just announced that the massage tables were ready for them. “Fine then. I promise you won’t have fake hands all over you.”

“But there’s only fake hands available in here!” Kira exclaimed, waving her one free hand around to emphasise her point.

“But there’s also me,” Jadzia said, throwing a smirk over her shoulder as she towed Kira along.

Kira blinked at her as they passed through a curtain. Then Jadzia started tugging at Kira’s wrap and urging her up on one of the tables. A little too surprised to protest, Kira just eyed the nearby holo attendant warily and complied. 

“I’m really not comfortable with this,” she started to say, but Jadzia just hushed her and started to make firm strokes along her back until she relaxed against the table. “I mean,” she continued. “I suppose if you’re sure, and it’s what the Prophets wish.”

It wasn’t like a vision was anymore real than a holoprogram, but somehow it felt more real. That had to count for something.

“I’m sure the Prophets just want you to be happy,” Jadzia said softly, fetching some oil and putting some more strength behind her hands. Kira groaned gratefully as Jadzia found a tight spot between her shoulder blades, and then sighed as Jadzia smoothed her hands along her spine. “And _relaxed_. You’re far too tense,” Jadzia murmured as she worked.

“I missed you,” Kira said drowsily against her folded arms. Then her eyes shot open, and she stared at the white curtain near her head in a panic. 

“The survey mission wasn’t that long,” Jadzia said with a laugh in her voice, and then hesitated for a moment. “But I missed you, too,” she continued, voice softer still. Then Kira felt the soft press of lips at the base of her neck.

Kira swallowed hard and found herself blinking furiously. “I should have said something sooner,” she told her arms. Jadzia chuckled against her skin and then pulled back and resumed the massage.

“Or perhaps I should have,” was all she said as she kept working. 

After a few minutes struggling to hold back her surge of emotion, Kira started to relax again under Jadzia’s hands. 

“You should do this more often,” Jadzia said.

Kira nodded drowsily and murmured her agreement, letting the fog roll over her and the sensation of movement across her shoulders soothe her. “Perhaps I will,” she agreed, feeling herself start to nod off.

*

Colonel Kira stumbled and reached out to brace herself against the nearest wall. The corridor was empty, as it always was this early in the morning. Shaking her head to clear it, she rolled her shoulders and sighed.

She felt far more relaxed than when she’d woken up this morning. Once she felt steady on her feet again she pushed off the wall and changed direction to head for the Promenade.

It was early, but Quark was usually up early. Maybe it was time to make that holosuite appointment after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Is Jadzia a vision or did Kira actually slip back and forth through time? I think either interpretation fits canon, given Kira's orb experiences have included travelling to the past. I like to think the Prophets are trying to give her a little consolation and also a reminder to get back out there and live again and make the most of her circumstances even if they aren't exactly what she'd hoped for.


End file.
